From the Assistant Principal
Why Do Children (and Siblings) Fight?
The school holidays are upon us, and you may be anticipating disagreements and sibling fights at home.
Did you know that research has found that students at school experience an average of one conflict every three minutes during play times? Causes for fights include difficulties sharing resources or when children see a situation as unfair, are trying to assert their rights, feel that others don’t see their point of view, or view the same event in different ways.
Disagreements happen mostly when children organise play by themselves, which is encouraged during recess and lunch, as it promotes self-directed executive functioning, which regulates thoughts and behaviours to support goal-directed actions. It’s also important to give students a chance to sort out their disagreements by themselves. We teach and use Friendology strategies for this very reason.
These disagreements are opportunities to learn. Disagreements can be a good opportunity for your child to practise the social skills they’ll need as adults. When disagreements among children are worked out fairly and without anyone getting hurt, children start to build problem-solving skills, such as negotiating. They also learn the importance of seeing another person’s point of view and respecting other people’s rights, feelings, and belongings.
Children are born with their own temperaments, which determine how they respond to the world. They might be flexible or persistent, sociable or shy, or more or less likely to negotiate, argue, or avoid conflict. Temperament might also explain why some people are quicker to anger than others or find it harder to calm down. It’s not always easy for grown-ups to resolve conflict peacefully, so imagine how much harder it is for children.
Modelling positive behaviours is helpful. Children learn how to sort out differences from a very young age by watching and copying the behaviour they see around them. You can model positive behaviours like:
- staying calm or walking away to calm down if you’re overwhelmed
- listening to other people’s points of view
- checking the facts before you act
- calmly discussing possibilities for compromise
- agreeing to think about it for a while and come back later if you need to.
Children learn from negative behaviour too. Children are more likely to choose to fight if they:
- see people – particularly their parents, older siblings or friends – being aggressive towards each other
- get what they want by pushing, shoving or fighting
- don’t have consistent limits on fighting or aggression
- see a lot of violence on TV, in movies, on YouTube or in video games, particularly if their temperament makes it harder for them to control anger
Read more about how to handle sibling disagreements here: https://raisingchildren.net.au/toddlers/family-life/siblings/handling-fights
(Adapted from information found on www.raisingchildren.net.au)
Petra Cole
Assistant Principal
Thank you, Denise!
Our school community is very generous, and one person in particular deserves our sincere gratitude. Denise, grandmother of Elsie, James and Annabelle, has donated a huge number of National Geographic magazines to our school. Reading nonfiction texts helps students build background knowledge and understand real-world concepts, enhancing their critical thinking skills. Resources like National Geographic expose students to diverse cultures, scientific discoveries, and environmental issues through engaging visuals and factual content. This type of reading also improves vocabulary and comprehension, especially in informational and academic contexts.
Thank you, Denise, for supporting our students’ literacy achievement through your amazing donation!
Petra Cole (Assistant Principal) and Sally Judd (Teacher Librarian), on behalf of the teaching staff