St Matthew’s Primary School

From the Assistant Principal

Dear Parents and Carers,

As we head towards the end of 2022, we have begun to reflect on our Behaviour Management Policy here at St Matthew’s. In the new year, we will be making some changes to our existing policy. We value parent feedback and would greatly appreciate your help in framing the way forward. You can find the link to the parent survey about behaviour management at St Matthew’s here. If you have a few moments to fill it in, we would be so appreciative.

Last week, we looked at triggers associated with parenting. This week Dr Siggie talks about how to respond appropriately to your child when you feel triggered.

What happens when you practise slowing down?
When you slow down you are able to listen to your body’s signals.

When you slow down you are giving yourself room to think.

You know what it feels like when you’re becoming frustrated and triggered. Your chest tightens, maybe your breath changes… you know how that feels. Slow down in order to notice these feelings and once you do, slow down again and breathe through them. If you’re not able to first slow down, you will miss these signals your body is giving you.

When you can think, you can thoughtfully respond instead of emotionally react.

What’s the difference between reacting and responding?
Reacting is immediate, emotionally charged and oftentimes out of control. Meanwhile, responding is thoughtful, reflective and focused on guidance. Slow down in order to give yourself the room you need to think, breathe and respond to your child.

Children are immediate and intense. That’s their nature. Oftentimes, parents feel they must respond to their child with the same level of intensity and immediacy. They don’t. You don’t. Take your time to respond to your child and make your decisions. Let your child know you “have to think about it and get back” to them. Model patience and mindfulness. Work to delay gratification.

Slowing down is tied to breathing. Don't underestimate the power of breathing.

Deep breathing (belly breathing) is an excellent way to help yourself stay calm and connected. And it's something you can do anytime, anywhere. When you feel yourself starting to get frustrated, overwhelmed or angry, stop what you're doing or saying and right there and then, slow down and begin some deep breathing. It's perfectly ok to do this in front of your children. In fact, it's a great technique to model for them. You can literally stop in place and tell yourself out loud: “Slow down and breathe.” Deep breathing is slow, steady and deliberate.

**Pick calm moments and practice breathing this way often so that when the tough moments come, you and your body already know what to do.**

Rachel Powell

Assistant Principal (Acting)

rachel.powell@cg.catholic.edu.au